Reality?

As I was typing my last post, a storm was brewing! A Gracie storm that is. We had our first melt down with her at that time. It is to be expected and in general she does so well, that it is easy to forget all that she has suffered and lost, and all that we do not know. I feel so many holes in her life. What was her living situation like? I don't know. What were her foster parents like? I don't know. Why did her mama abandon her? I don't know. How will I help her answer those questions for herself? I don't know.

Doing some research last night, the author again strongly recommended keeping stimuli to a minimum for a while after getting home, introducing things gradually. Even good, learning, and loving things. All are just too much. We have seen that here. She gets overstimulated and crazy after a day out and about. I love to tickle my boys and rough house a little with them. I cannot do that with her, not even a little bit. She gets immediately crazy. It's just too much.

So yesterday after our medical we just stayed at the hotel and went to the 4th floor outdoor playground and then the pool. It was a good relaxing day. I wish hotel food and room service weren't more like highway robbery in terms of price because we always need to venture out for meals. We bought some noodle bowls (think ramen) but she doesn't seem to like noodles, only rice. We have had McDonalds a couple of times because it is right next door and we hope chicken nuggets will give her some semblance of protein, but icky, already tired of that!

Today we went to the Guangzhou zoo. All of the animals were just a little scary to her, she told our guide. Afterwards we went to McD and they were handing out these tiny baby cones of ice cream. She had no idea what it was. She licked it so gingerly. When we got to the cone she was done. This was after ten minutes of licking the top off this tiny cone of ice cream. Sweet and a little sad.

I was talking to our guide about all the stares we get when we are out and about with Grace. People gawk so hard I'm sometimes afraid they are going to walk into poles or into traffic. She said that most people are confused. Media here is so tight that they are not aware that foreigners are adopting their children. I found this very surprising. So we must indeed look very strange to many people. She said she thinks most people are wondering how this caucasian couple ended up with a Chinese looking baby.

So continue to pray for us to be able to communicate with Grace. Our guide says that she thinks Grace always understands what is being said to her (in Cantonese) even though she sometimes chooses not to answer or only answers in one of two word answers. Like she got very sad when I tried to show her the Hello Kitty nailpolish I brought. I asked Wensi our guide to talk to her about it and she chose not to answer Wensi. We still do not know why. We are sad that this is our last day with this guide because she has really helped us communicate since she is a native Cantonese speaker. We think our guide for the rest of the trip is a Mandarin speaker.

We hope to catch up with Shelley tomorrow. Sounds like Huang Lilan (Hope) is quite the spitfire and quite attached to her Chinese name. It will be intersting to see the two girls together. I think Hope also speaks Cantonese and she seems very fluent and very easy to understand. It will be interesting to see if they can chat together. Also, another child from Grace's orphanage is getting adopted on Monday. They were friends. We hope to try and connect with them of possible.

Love to you all. Continue to pray for us for wisdom and for Grace to understand who we are and how much we love her.