Many have been asking how things are going, so I am attempting an update.

First off, a little history. 2 interesting moments from the past year: '

1. We are part of our church's leadership team and we had a leadership retreat last Fall. At one point, our pastor, Kris and his wife Robyn pulled us aside (as they did with each couple in leadership) to give them some words or scripture that they had specifically for each couple, man to man, woman to woman. So Robyn had a word for me and her word was "Believe". She also included a scripture to go along with this word. This word and scripture had implications for me with some things I had been going through at the time, and it has continued to follow me through this process.

2. I went to Haiti on a missions trip in October. We were rebuilding a school. There were two other teams there, both from Califormia, one that we worked with directly every day and one that were  carpenters making blackboards and cupboards for the new school, back at the mission house. We only saw this team in the evenings for meal and socialization and devotional time. One night the subject of our adoption came up, and one of the men from this team said "God wants you to know you are supposed to have peace in the process". I said "Thank you.", and he said, don't thank me, it is not me that is telling you this, this is from God, a word for you. Then, the day before we left, I met a woman from our agency, by sheer chance, there to work with the restavec children in Haiti. It was a confirmation to me of some sorts that we were on the right path.

So, throughout this process my faith has been stretched and encouraged. I do believe that God has all things worked out for our good, His glory, and in His time, which is always best. But as you may well know, God's timing doesn't always coincide with what I think it SHOULD  be. We are not yet matched with our child. We are still waiting. Waiting is hard! In my original estimation, based on some of my friends adoptions, I thought we would have her home now, or at least know her face and name by now. We don't. We wait. I thought that she would be here by now and this would be a special time for her and Jude to get to know each other before he starts full time Kindergarten next year. That won't happen. At this point, if we don't get a match soon, we will be lucky to get her (and qualify for the adoption tax credit) by the end of 2012. We have looked at a few files, and although it is heart wrenching to say "No", we have had to do so. These were not our child.

Through it all, I have been trying to have "peace in the process". It is not always easy. I do know that God knows best, in timing and in everything else. I have been savoring my time with Jude, knowing how much I will miss him next year when he is in school fulltime, and enjoying our family dynamic as it is now. And I am always grateful at how wonderful our boys are and love watching them grow and change.

Some days are easier than others to "believe", to "have peace in the process". Today was one of those days. Another agency announced that they were partnering with 8 orphanages and would soon have thousands of kids on their invidividual list to choose from. Not us. Not our agency. So I began to doubt myself. Why did I choose our agency? Did I rush it? Did I make a mistake? Will we ever get matched? Was God calling us to comething completely different??

I decided to take Jude to the park with a freind. I couldn't find my shoes. I finally found them upstairs in my bathroom. As I sat on the toilet lid to put on my shoes, I saw my devotional book, "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young.. I thought I'd take a few minutes to read before I went out, maybe it would help my mood. Here is what I read:

"You are on the path of my choosing. There is no randomness about your life. Here and Now compromise the coordinates of your daily life. Most people let their moments slip through their fingers, half lived. They avoid the present by worrying about the future or longing for a better time and place. They forget that they are creatures who are subject to the limitations of time and space. They forget their Creator, who walks with them only in the present.

Every moment is alive with My glorious Presence, to those whose hearts are intimately connected with Mine. As you give yourself more and more to a life of constant communion with Me, you will find that you simply have no time for worry. Thus, you are freed to let My Spirit direct your steps, enabling you to walk along the path of peace."

And, the last line was italicized in the original text, not just here. Do you think God is speaking to me? After I cried a few big tears and asked God to help me make the mst of my time, Jude and I walked down to the park and had a lovely time with friends.

Believe. Have Peace in the Process.

Yours peacefully,

Christine