What is the cost of obedience? For me it was $65.00. Let me
explain:
I think I’ve mentioned before, and many of you who know me ,
know this; I am not a very patient person. It is something with which I
struggle. I also don’t generally sit still and quietly for very long (without
falling asleep!). Surprise you? So for me to sit and try to listen for God’s
voice in my life, it is something at which I need to work.
On July 23rd, I woke up early. We were planning a
trip to the amusement park Idlewild, thanks to the generous offer of friends
Lisa Warner and Richelle Gourley to take us as their guests. I didn’t want to
go out on my morning run and get all exhausted before my day started, so I
decided to spend time in prayer and waiting on God’s answer.
I prayed for friends and family dealing with serious issues,
our church and pastors, and also for our adoption and my best friend’s adoption
and my new internet friends’ adoptions. Finally I sat in silence listening for
God. He brought to my mind money that I owed to 2 people. One dated back 10
years ago and one 2 years ago. The amounts were not large, $50.00 and $15.00,
but for some reason I had not written the checks to these folks.
I was going to tell you the reasons I owed these folks
money, but there is nothing spectacular in the stories. One woman lost a check
I had sent and in the other case I was overpaid $50.00 that should have
belonged to someone else. Each time, I had the money in my bank account and I
didn’t want to give it up. I felt at the time that either I didn’t want to part
with the money, that it would be easier after the next paycheck, that I
deserved the money, that they shouldn’t have lost the original check…and then
it just got longer and longer away from the time I should have passed on the
money and I felt stupid for not sending it. So I never sent it.
This was all that was coming to my mind. The need to admit
that all I have comes from God above. That He is in control of my finances. That He
planned for this adoption for us and will be with us till long after it’s
completion. That even though we are going to be needing a large sum of money
here very soon in order to finalize our adoption, that I should go downstairs
and write checks and letters of apology to these persons and mail them.
So I did. $65.00. Really a very small sum of money. Some of
you probably don’t even understand why I would write a blog post about it. But,
this task wasn’t about the money, really,
as it was about the obedience. And the trust. Why couldn’t I give it up years ago?
Do I not trust that there will always be enough? That God will always provide
for my every need?
After writing out the checks and letters and placing them in
the mailbox, we got ready and went to Idlewild. We were standing in line for
our first ride when I checked my email. I had two emails from my agency,
telling me that we had just gotten our official approval from China, our LOA! I
know many of the doubters out there would say “Oh that was in process already
so it couldn’t have been God at work”. But I know that God provided that letter
of approval on that day for me as a blessing for my obedience and as a confirmation
of His love for me.
He loves you too. Are you listening for His voice?
