So what happened on Friday, June 1?

Please forgive me for being so long in bringing this update to you, but…We’ve Been Matched!! Friday June 1, Chris and I were relaxing on the couch, basically getting ready for bed when we received a phone call at 10:23. It was my mother saying she was not coming to the house like we had expected, but spending the night at my grandmother’s instead. So when the phone rang 4 minutes later at 10:27, I almost answered “Yes, Mother” but I noticed that the caller was an Illinois cell phone. The voice said “Hello Christine, this is Elizabeth from Bethany”. I was suddenly awake! She had seen two little girls pop up on the Shared list that evening that were close to the age range we had specified, but just outside it. One had a birthdate of 5/2007 and one 10/2006 and both had cleft lip and palate. Were we interested in either girl, she wanted to know? Jude’s birthdate is 8/3/2006 and we had wanted at least about a year between them, so the May 2007 seemed like a pretty good fit, but since it wasn’t a perfect fit, she wanted to call and confirm. We said yes, and she said she would get off the phone and try to see if she was still on the list (she could have been gone that fast!) and then lock her for us.

So we waited. 10:45, 11:00, 11:30. At 11:45 Chris said “I’m going to bed”. At midnight I couldn’t keep my eyes open and went upstairs to brush my teeth. I took my phone with me and as I was brushing my teeth, my email notifier went “pop!” It was the referral from Elizabeth. I ran downstairs and got the computer and Chris and I sat in the bed reviewing her file. We decided to look at her file before her pics so that we wouldn’t be swayed by her face. Her file does not say where she was found, but states that when she was admitted to the orphanage on May 28, 2008, she had 2 sutures in her upper lip. She was guesstimated to be about a year old and given the birthdate of May 15, 2007, my mother’s birthday.

She just turned 5 years old and is very tiny. In February 2012 she was reported as being 24 pounds and 34 inches tall, the size of a typical 2 year old. Many kids in orphanages are small, so we are not too concerned about her size but can’t wait to get her here to give her a healthy diet and help her do some catching up! She is also probably anemic, due to lack of a great diet. I’m sure having that open palate for so long made eating difficult. She may always be a little peanut, but we will do what we can to help her reach her fullest potential.

We read further and find that not only has her lip been fixed, but her palate as well, in July of 2011, at the age of 4. This is great news! Usually a palate repair is delayed until they are home with their adoptive family. She will most likely require further surgeries, but it is good to have the first stage out of the way. We also find that when she was brought in at 1 year of age, she was sitting and crawling. This would be very unusual for a baby who had been in the orphanage for her first year of life, so her family blessed her by giving her 1 year of love and developmental opportunities. Most likely they could not afford the surgeries to repair her lip and palate and sadly, had to give her up, in order that she might get the surgeries she needed. We’ll never know for sure, since it is illegal to abandon children in China. It is highly unlikely that her mother will ever seek her out for fear of significant retribution.

I read recently that cleft lip and palate happens in 1 out of every 500 births in Asian countries, so very common. And sadly, many cannot afford the surgeries to make their children well. In China you must pay up front for any surgeries, and if you don’t have it, you don’t get treated. How lucky we are in this country to have most if not all of our basic healthcare needs met.

After reading her file we looked at the pictures provided. She is precious. I can’t wait to be able to show you all. Our agency asks that we wait until we have our “Letter of Approval” (LOA) to show pictures of her. This can take anywhere between 36 and 136 days! After we get the LOA, it will be approximately 2 months to travel, leaving time for all the other official documents and processes that have to take place.

We can’t wait to bring her home. 5 years is long enough to be without your forever parent. Pray for us that it will be sooner rather than later. Pray for favor with the Chinese government, that they would find us completely acceptable to be her parents (quickly). Pray for her protection there in that orphanage, and pray for the preparation of her heart and ours, all 6 of us! This is exciting and scary stuff. We are grateful God is using us in this way and praying for his provision throughout.

Much love for all our supportive friends and family,

Christine

Thursday, May 30th, 2012

Peace. Patience. Things I pray for, things I am not very good at allowing in my life. It is almost comical how many times God has put the word “Peace” in my heart throughout this process. Today was no different. Chris and I did not get an official match this month again. We have been “unofficially” looking at a few files of girls waiting to be adopted. One is 2 years 3 months and one is 5 and a half. Both were on the very opposite end of the age range that we were considering (2-5). So the last few days have been stressful, trying to accomplish all the things I need to get done in my day with the end of school year stuff, baseball, soccer, going away for the weekend to Annapolis with Chris’ dad, staring work on my latest play at Apple Hill Playhouse, being one of three is the team that is planning and leading Field Day for this Friday, and then all the mundane stuff, like cooking, cleaning, laundry, playing with Jude…. My mind has been spinning. Several people have tried to talk to me about other things, sent me emails and texts, and quite honestly, I cannot process it all. My mind and body have been spinning in near constant motion.

Today Chris woke up with the alarm and crawled out of bed to wake Cole and get him started on his day. I lay there for a few minutes, trying to spend a few quiet moments listening and talking to God. I’m not very good at laying quietly listening. My mind wanders to all the things that need to be accomplished and on things I did yesterday that I now have to rehash in my brain. But I pressed through, listening for what God would have to say. And what He put in my brain was the story of Hagar and Sarai.

God had promised Sarai and Abram that they would have a son. But they were very old and many years had passed even since the promise, So Sarai decided to take things into her own hands and give her servant Hagar to Abram in order that he might continue his promised line through her (and that somehow Sarai thought she would be blessed as well). Well as you may or may not know or have guessed, this did not turn out well. Hagar did get pregnant and began to despise Sarai. Sarai eventually threw Hagar and her son out into the wilderness. God met Hagar there and told her that she should go back and submit to her mistress, that he would increase her descendants until they were too numerous to count. He told her that she would give birth to a son, he should be called “Ishmael” and that he would be a “wild ass of a man”. Hagar praised God and gave him his first name “The God who sees Me”.

The plans of Sarai were not the plans of God. She did not wait on God long enough and caused much grief to herself and others. God convicted me to not be a Sarai. To be patient. To wait on His perfect plans for me. Here was my devotional for the day:

“The peace that I give you transcends your intellect, When most of your mental energy goes into efforts to figure things out, you are unable receive this glorious gift. I look into your mind and see thoughts spinning round and round: going nowhere, accomplishing nothing. All the while, my Peace hovers over you, waiting for someplace to land. Be still in my presence, inviting Me to control your thoughts. Let my light soak into your mind and heart, until you are aglow with my very being. This is the most effective way to receive my Peace.”

 What do you think God is telling me?? I wrote this post on June 1st. I cannot wait to tell you what happened June 2nd....details to come :)

Many have been asking how things are going, so I am attempting an update.

First off, a little history. 2 interesting moments from the past year: '

1. We are part of our church's leadership team and we had a leadership retreat last Fall. At one point, our pastor, Kris and his wife Robyn pulled us aside (as they did with each couple in leadership) to give them some words or scripture that they had specifically for each couple, man to man, woman to woman. So Robyn had a word for me and her word was "Believe". She also included a scripture to go along with this word. This word and scripture had implications for me with some things I had been going through at the time, and it has continued to follow me through this process.

2. I went to Haiti on a missions trip in October. We were rebuilding a school. There were two other teams there, both from Califormia, one that we worked with directly every day and one that were  carpenters making blackboards and cupboards for the new school, back at the mission house. We only saw this team in the evenings for meal and socialization and devotional time. One night the subject of our adoption came up, and one of the men from this team said "God wants you to know you are supposed to have peace in the process". I said "Thank you.", and he said, don't thank me, it is not me that is telling you this, this is from God, a word for you. Then, the day before we left, I met a woman from our agency, by sheer chance, there to work with the restavec children in Haiti. It was a confirmation to me of some sorts that we were on the right path.

So, throughout this process my faith has been stretched and encouraged. I do believe that God has all things worked out for our good, His glory, and in His time, which is always best. But as you may well know, God's timing doesn't always coincide with what I think it SHOULD  be. We are not yet matched with our child. We are still waiting. Waiting is hard! In my original estimation, based on some of my friends adoptions, I thought we would have her home now, or at least know her face and name by now. We don't. We wait. I thought that she would be here by now and this would be a special time for her and Jude to get to know each other before he starts full time Kindergarten next year. That won't happen. At this point, if we don't get a match soon, we will be lucky to get her (and qualify for the adoption tax credit) by the end of 2012. We have looked at a few files, and although it is heart wrenching to say "No", we have had to do so. These were not our child.

Through it all, I have been trying to have "peace in the process". It is not always easy. I do know that God knows best, in timing and in everything else. I have been savoring my time with Jude, knowing how much I will miss him next year when he is in school fulltime, and enjoying our family dynamic as it is now. And I am always grateful at how wonderful our boys are and love watching them grow and change.

Some days are easier than others to "believe", to "have peace in the process". Today was one of those days. Another agency announced that they were partnering with 8 orphanages and would soon have thousands of kids on their invidividual list to choose from. Not us. Not our agency. So I began to doubt myself. Why did I choose our agency? Did I rush it? Did I make a mistake? Will we ever get matched? Was God calling us to comething completely different??

I decided to take Jude to the park with a freind. I couldn't find my shoes. I finally found them upstairs in my bathroom. As I sat on the toilet lid to put on my shoes, I saw my devotional book, "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young.. I thought I'd take a few minutes to read before I went out, maybe it would help my mood. Here is what I read:

"You are on the path of my choosing. There is no randomness about your life. Here and Now compromise the coordinates of your daily life. Most people let their moments slip through their fingers, half lived. They avoid the present by worrying about the future or longing for a better time and place. They forget that they are creatures who are subject to the limitations of time and space. They forget their Creator, who walks with them only in the present.

Every moment is alive with My glorious Presence, to those whose hearts are intimately connected with Mine. As you give yourself more and more to a life of constant communion with Me, you will find that you simply have no time for worry. Thus, you are freed to let My Spirit direct your steps, enabling you to walk along the path of peace."

And, the last line was italicized in the original text, not just here. Do you think God is speaking to me? After I cried a few big tears and asked God to help me make the mst of my time, Jude and I walked down to the park and had a lovely time with friends.

Believe. Have Peace in the Process.

Yours peacefully,

Christine

Praising God!

So, if you read my first post, you may remember that one of the things we were counting on to fund our adoption when we started was an adoption benefit from Chris' company. After we started he switched jobs and we lost that benefit, but decided to trust that God would help us fund this adoption. The benefit from his work was $7500.00 so it wasn't a small amount! Well, today, we got a notice that a grant for which we had applied had been approved!! Can you guess the amount? $7500.00. Isn't God funny?? And awesome! Now, God, keep working on those legislators for that adoption tax refund....;)

Blog Post 1

Many friends are following our journey, and several of you have specifically asked to be kept informed of updates in our process. I have been meaning to enter this world of blogging for awhile now, and this is my first attempt. I will begin to tell you the reason why we began this journey of ad0ption and where our hearts are, from my perspective.

First, a little history. Chris and I met in 1991 at Seton Hill College. We dated for almost 5 years and married in late 1995. We lived a fun life in Chicago as a newly married young couple. We started our family in 1999, with the birth of our first son, Cole. We moved back to PA to be nearer to family the next year and Graham came the year after that. Jude was born 5 years after Graham. We were blessed and beyond happy with our 3 boys. We were busy with the fun, active, noisy world of boys. Occasionally we'd wonder what it would be like to have a little girl, but knew that since there hadn't been a girl in Chris' family for 5 generations, our chances were slim to none to have one "natually".

Ad0ption had been something I had thought about since some time during highschool when I saw an expose on 60 Minutes or 20/20 about the horrors of life inside an orphanage. The images haunted me for years to come. The cost of an adoption was something, however, that I had always seen as insurmountable. Both private domestic infant adoption and international adoption costs range from $22,000-$40,000+.

Several years ago, I became friends with a beautiful mother of 5 biological children and 1 (now 2) children adopted from China. It was amazing to watch as her little one assimilated into life here in the US with her loving family. Her adoption inspired another friend to adopt a little boy with a cleft palate and at the same time a family we knew from another circle adopted a boy with a cleft palate as well. All of these children were bringing such joy to their families. It was inspiring to watch.

And yet, how could we possibly afford it? God has always provided for our every need. But we did not have $30,000.00 laying around. In Spring 2011, we became aware of an "adoption tax refund" of around $13,000.00 that was being given to adoptive families. That sounded good. At the same time, Chris' company that he worked for had an adoption gift of $7500.00. Wow! That would cover a LARGE amount of the cost! So we began seriously to think about the possibility of adopting. Since then, the adoption tax refund has changed and Chris has changed jobs, so we are back to relying on God to provide our funds. Funny, huh?

Although we were drawn to Ch-na for several reasons, Ch-na is starting to change some of it's policies and there are fewer and fewer healthy infants available for adoption. In many ways this is a good thing because there are more in-country adoptions happening. But what it meant for us was that if Chris and I wanted to adopt from Ch-na, we would be entering the world of Special Needs Adoption. We talked long and hard about this and prayed annd sought God for several weeks. After much time around our backyard for pit after the boys went to bed, we felt called to move forward and set up an appointment with an ad0ption agency. We started the process of paperwork and homestudy in June 2011 and had a completed homestudy sometime in late October. The paperwork went to US immigration for approval on November 30th and we got our pre-approval from US Immigration around the 13th of January. After getting many documents notarized and authenticated our "dossier" was sent to the Chinese Consulate for their authentication and then finally on to Ch-na on February 20th, 2012.

So, now we wait. We are waiting for our log-in date from Ch-na. We are waiting for our agency to match us to a waiting child. A new list of kids with minor, correctable needs comes out once a month. Our agency prays and fasts during the day of matching and that gives us confidence that they will be led to the right child for our family by the God of the Universe. We hope it will be at the end of March but we patiently (or sometimes not so!) wait for God's timing and the child He knows is ours.

So, that brings you up to date. Prayers are appreciated for our family, our agency, our finances, and most especially, for our daughter. For her physical and emotional protection, for her health, and for her sweet spirit.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for praying. May you be blessed!

Christine